Understanding Sexual Trauma: Healing After Harm

Trigger Warning: This blog discusses sexual trauma, including assault, abuse, and the psychological aftermath. If this content is activating for you, please proceed with care. Step away if you need to. You are not alone—and your safety and comfort matter.

A Gentle Start

If you’re reading this, there’s a chance you—or someone you love—has experienced a painful violation of trust, safety, or bodily autonomy. Whether it happened recently or many years ago, the effects of sexual trauma can linger in ways that are confusing, isolating, and overwhelming.

Please know:
You did not deserve what happened.
It wasn’t your fault.
And healing is possible—even if you can’t yet see what that looks like.

In this space, we’ll gently explore what sexual trauma is, how it impacts the mind and body, and what healing can look like. You are worthy of compassion, support, and a path forward that honors your pace.

What Is Sexual Trauma?

Sexual trauma refers to any sexual experience that overwhelms your sense of safety, agency, or consent. This includes—but is not limited to—sexual assault, rape, childhood sexual abuse, unwanted touching, coercion, and sexual harassment. It can also include experiences that may not be classified legally as assault, but still felt violating, frightening, or confusing.

Sexual trauma is not defined solely by the event itself—it’s also about the lasting emotional, psychological, and somatic impact that event leaves behind. For many survivors, the trauma isn’t just about the moment it happened, but also the aftermath: not being believed, blamed, silenced, or unsupported.

As shared in a previous article about trauma-informed care, trauma is “what happens inside you as a result of something overwhelming or painful—especially when there wasn’t enough support, safety, or validation afterward.”

What Is Classified as Sexual Trauma?

Sexual trauma includes a wide range of experiences that violate a person's consent, bodily autonomy, and emotional safety. It’s not limited to physical acts — it also includes verbal, emotional, and psychological violations that can be deeply distressing. What’s important to understand is that if something made you feel unsafe, objectified, or violated, your experience is valid.

Some examples of sexual trauma include:

• Rape or attempted rape

• Childhood sexual abuse

• Sexual coercion or manipulation (e.g., being pressured into sex through guilt or threats)

• Sexual contact with someone unable to consent (e.g., intoxicated, unconscious, underage, or otherwise incapacitated)

• Unwanted sexual touch or exposure (e.g., groping, flashing)

• Reproductive coercion (e.g., birth control sabotage or forced pregnancy decisions)

• Digital sexual abuse (e.g., sending or sharing explicit photos or videos without consent)

• Sexual harassment, including:

• Unwanted sexual comments or jokes

• Lewd gestures or verbal advances

• Repeated sexual attention that was declined

• Inappropriate sexual conversations in professional, educational, or social settings

• Being made to feel unsafe, objectified, or disrespected due to your gender or sexuality

Sexual harassment is often minimized in our culture, especially in workplaces or schools, but it can be deeply traumatizing, especially when it occurs repeatedly or in an environment where it feels unsafe to speak up. These experiences can erode a person’s sense of safety, trust, and worth over time.

It can happen in any context—within relationships, in families, at work, among friends, or with strangers. It doesn’t matter how you were dressed, whether you froze, or if you knew the person. If it felt violating, frightening, or shaming—it matters.

What Trauma Is Caused by Sexual Assault?

Sexual trauma can affect every part of a survivor’s life. It can leave deep imprints on the nervous system, relationships, self-worth, and even physical health.

Common trauma responses include:

• Hypervigilance (feeling constantly on edge)

• Numbness or emotional shutdown

• Shame or guilt (often irrational but deeply felt)

• Body disconnect or discomfort with physical intimacy

• Flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories

• Anxiety or panic attacks

• Depression, hopelessness, or dissociation

• Difficulty trusting or feeling safe in relationships

• Avoidance of triggers (people, places, smells, sounds)

• Chronic health issues like headaches, fatigue, or pelvic pain

These symptoms aren’t signs of weakness. They are protective responses your body created to survive the trauma. The goal of healing isn’t to “go back” to who you were before—but to reclaim your safety, voice, and wholeness moving forward.

Stages of Grief After Sexual Trauma

Survivors often move through various stages of emotional processing, similar to grief. These stages are not linear—and they may come in waves, repeat, or show up all at once.

Common Stages Include:

• Shock or disbelief: “Did that really happen?”

• Denial: Avoiding the memory or pretending it didn’t affect you

• Anger: At the perpetrator, the system, or even yourself

• Sadness or despair: Feeling hopeless, isolated, or broken

• Guilt or shame: Internalizing blame or feeling "dirty"

• Acceptance and reclaiming: Beginning to believe it wasn’t your fault and taking steps toward healing

Wherever you are is okay. You don’t need to force yourself into a certain stage. Each feeling has wisdom—and deserves space to be witnessed and held.

What Happens in Sexual Trauma Therapy?

Sexual trauma therapy is a safe space to process your experiences at your own pace. It’s not about reliving the trauma in painful detail—it’s about helping your nervous system feel safe again, releasing shame, and restoring your sense of choice and voice.

In therapy, you may:

• Learn how trauma impacts the brain and body

• Work with grounding tools to manage flashbacks and anxiety

• Reconnect with your body in gentle, safe ways

• Explore emotions that were shut down or numbed out

• Challenge internalized shame and self-blame

• Strengthen your voice, boundaries, and sense of agency

As we have previously noted in our blog on CPT for trauma, effective trauma therapy “helps clients reframe unhelpful beliefs, challenge shame, and begin to trust themselves again.” 

You set the pace. You get to say no. And the therapy space should feel like a place where you are in control—something that may have been taken from you during the trauma.

What Is the Best Therapy for Sexual Trauma?

The “best” therapy depends on your unique needs, history, and preferences—but there are a few evidence-based modalities that are especially effective for sexual trauma:

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

Helps the brain reprocess stuck memories so they no longer feel emotionally overwhelming. EMDR is gentle, structured, and doesn’t require you to go into graphic detail about the trauma.
Learn more about it here: EMDR Explained

CPT (Cognitive Processing Therapy)

Targets the thoughts and beliefs that often develop after trauma—like “I’m to blame” or “I’ll never be safe again”—and helps reframe them in a healthier, more accurate way.

Learn more about it here: CPT-SA Explained

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Explores the “parts” of you that developed to cope—like the protector, the inner critic, or the wounded inner child—and helps bring compassion and harmony between them.

Learn more about it here: IFS Explained

Narrative Therapy

Allows you to retell your story on your terms—separating you from the trauma and redefining your identity with strength, not shame.nar

Somatic Therapy

Focuses on how trauma lives in the body. Through grounding, movement, breath, and sensation awareness, survivors can begin to reconnect with their bodies in safe, empowering ways.

Can EMDR Help with Sexual Trauma?

Yes—EMDR is one of the most effective trauma therapies, especially for survivors of sexual assault or abuse.

As we have explained before in EMDR Explained: “EMDR helps the brain reprocess distressing memories and reduce the emotional intensity... allowing you to remember what happened without being hijacked by it.”

Survivors often report that EMDR helps them feel more grounded, less reactive to triggers, and more at peace with their story. It’s not about forgetting—it’s about remembering without reliving.

Coping Tools for Survivors of Sexual Trauma

There’s no one-size-fits-all tool for healing—but there are many practices that can support you day-to-day.

Grounding Techniques

• Hold a stone, ice cube, or textured object

• Focus on your five senses (What do you see, hear, feel?)

• Use breathwork to slow your heart rate

Creative Expression

• Journal (write a letter to your younger self or the person who hurt you)

• Create art that captures your feelings or boundaries

• Use music to regulate your emotions

Movement & Somatics

• Gentle yoga, stretching, or walking

• Dance to reconnect with joy in your body

• Body scans to notice tension or numbness without judgment

Connection

• Find a trauma-informed therapist

• Join a support group (online or in-person)

• Talk with someone you trust, even if just a little at a time

Compassion Practices

• Speak kindly to yourself, even when it feels awkward

• Say: “I didn’t deserve what happened to me” out loud

• Practice loving-kindness meditations (start with sending compassion to your past self)

Final Thoughts 

If you’ve survived sexual trauma, please hear this:

You are not broken.
You are not to blame.

You are not alone.

The harm done to you was not your fault— and now, the healing is yours, and you are more than capable of reclaiming your life, your body, and your joy.

Embrace Your Healing Journey: Schedule a Free Consult

If you’re ready, reach out to us at Angel City Therapy, where we offer trauma-informed care, as well as EMDR. Navigating the complexities of healing after sexual trauma can bring profound challenges, but it also holds the potential for reclaiming your life and joy. If you're looking for a supportive, trauma-informed space to begin this process, Angel City Therapy is here for you.

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation today to explore how our compassionate therapists can help you reclaim your voice, your body, and your wholeness.